Category Archives: Useless Rants

What have you done for me lately?

Before this website was trying to sell me on their iphone app. I really hope it’s not for people who need to post on the fly. This isn’t fucking twitter, theres no need for that shit. I heard twitter was up for sale for like 10 billion bucks. I really hope they sell it and ruin it like they did myspace. If I had 10 billion to blow, I’d buy it and toss it in the trash. I don’t understand twitter. Not like, the social aspect, (I just find that retarded) but literally how to use it. Everyone says they love it because it’s simple, but theres fucking #’s and @’s and $’s and w/e the fuck. They’ve managed to find a way to alienate me in less than 140 characters. I’m sure I could learn, but why? If someone gives a shit about what I have to say, they will read this. If they don’t, why try to force feed them a sentence at a time?

I really do hate the word “blog”. It’s funny how this world works- the guy who thunk up the word “blog” most likely got nothing from it aside from a shitty blog no one reads. The guy who invented Shamwow’s punches hookers in the face in a Lambo. I’ll stick to calling this a website, granted it’s a pathetic one. I’ve been posting a lot to this website. I really don’t understand why, it’s not like I have the free time for it. I guess it’s a way for me to not do the things I need to do while still doing something. Also, since I’m primarily doing it for myself, it’s more like personal maintenance than anything else. What I’m doing with the blog is basically just farting out some of the bullshit that would otherwise stink up my brain all day long. When I come on here, I don’t really have the intention of writing anything in particular. I just go in whatever direction I want and hope I find it interesting enough to continue writing about it. If not, I’ll just move on. Example:

About four minutes ago I broke my nail uncomfortably short. It was on my left hand too, which really fucking sucks because now it’s going to make my guitar playing uncomfortably uncomfortable. If it was on my right hand, I could have just silk wrapped it up and instead of sucking it would be fucking kick ass. Of course, that’s not the case. That’s my life. I pirated Guitar Pro 6 the other day, so I guess that evens things out a bit.

Update: Shorty after this post, I downloaded the WordPress iOS app. Also, I don’t get why everyone is so close minded about this silk wrapping of my finger nails. The only thing feminine about fake nails is the fact that women do it it to look good, which is not my motivation. I do it for guitar; it makes playing so much easier and more fun. I don’t ever have to use a pick and it makes fingerpicking cool as fuck. I don’t need to explain myself.

Not bad considering I put this bitch on myself


February

It’s really stupid how people are waiting for March 1st to do shit. If your gonna do something, do it now. Don’t wait until a tuesday just to look neat. It’s not cooler to do shit on the 1st, except for I guess January. Then again, I don’t blame them for not wanting to do it in February. February sucks on pretty much every level a month could suck. All my shit cost the same even though I’m not getting like 3 days of service.  Then again, I don’t use half the shit I own anyway. If you divide the 365 days in a year by the number of days in February, it comes to about 13. It’s as much of a month as an imaginary 13th month.. It’s the midget of months, which bothers me consider I got kicked out of psychology class in high school because of “excessive racism” stemming from a remark I made about midgets. I tried asking how they could possibly consider the lack of height a race only to be called a smartass. I don’t know if it makes me smart to not relate the two, but it certainly does make you stupid if you don’t.

I heard these two black kids complaining about how black history month was during the shittiest month of the year. That really bothers me- It’s could have easily been “black history day”, not that there should be any allotted time devoted to it. Black history should be about equality; what sense is it make to separate history? History is history. Regardless of the topic, who wants to learn history for an entire month anyway? But I agree, it is during the shittiest month of the year. And it’s not racist to say “black kids”, if your thinking that, shut up your brain.

I found that I’ve been smoking a lot. No, not weed… crack. I’ve been smoking crack cocaine profusely. It has actually become a big problem. At first it was a cheap thrill, but it’s evolved since then. The other day, I was craving a hit but couldn’t get it because my mom didn’t have any money in her purse. I always thought I could stop at any time, but after that incident I realized that’s not the case. To make sure that would never happen again, I stole all her jewelry and pawned it. With that money, I bought a good amount and now I sell it and use the money I make to fund my addiction. Cigarettes you fool! Why is it whenever I say “smoking” people always think I’m talking about weed? Or crack? Maybe it’s the way I look. Well, fuck you for judging me. I’ve been smoking a lot of CIGARETTES recently, and I think it’s because I’m stressed out. I, like most smokers, smoke when I’m stressed out. I read somewhere that when you smoke, you hike up your blood pressure, increasing stress. Full circle. What a bunch of schemers these tobacco companies are. I wish I had thought of it, I’d be rich as fuck by now.

It’s actually very important that I become very rich, very soon. I can only go so long posting to my website at 7:00AM before I crap the fuck out. I just got a job and it’s only a matter of time before I get fired. This sleep disorder prevents me from being a hard working American (among other things). So, I’ve been thinking- who works the least in this country? Rich people! So, I have very little time before I have to become rich to sustain the high standard of life I’ve grown accustom to. I’ve been playing the lottery almost every day; no dice. I went to the store to buy the tickets with my girlfriend and she pointed out that the jackpot was a lowly 5 million dollars. So, my dumb ass says “better for me, the odds will be in my favor”. She called me out on my stupid and pointed out how the odds are the same of me winning, just better in the sense that I won’t have to share it if someone else wins too. I looked it up, the odds of wining the mega million jackpot is 1 in 175,711,536. Fuck that! If everyone in this country played, that would be two people. I’m not that lucky. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m extremely unlucky. Like when people tell me to pick a hand, I always pick the empty one. I’d be fucking nuts to waste my money on that bullshit again. Looks like I’m back to the drawing board. Maybe I can collect disability, or at least get a handicapped plate on my car.


Worthess?

Well, I’ve moved from blogger to this site. For you die hard fans, you may have noticed the url is now spelled properly. For the shoebies- when I made the blogger account I originally keyed in the wrong letters, spelling it “worthess”. Heres the old post so you can get up to speed (aka dead stop).

WorthlessthanWORTHLESS was not taken. I’m just a cockazoid that is so obsessed with screen resolutions that everything is so fucking small I can’t even see what I’m typing anymore. I refuse to change it, and not because I can’t but because fuck you. Okay, so this is a “blog” but I won’t call it a blog because the word blog reminds me of the word booger and I hate boogers. Not just the sight of a booger, but the thought that I have a booger inside of me bothers me to a degree slightly below who gives a shit. Instead, I’ll call it a website. Makes me sound professional and it makes you sound like my customer. Which gets me thinking- if you give me a dollar and I can get a million people to see this I’ll be a millionaire. Actually, I have a good 9 bucks laying around, so all I need is 999,991 people to give me a dollar. I willn’t (word I just made up) proofread my entry because I don’t like to read- not even if I wrote it. I’ll stop now because I want to.