Monthly Archives: April 2011

Teleportation

I heard that someone teleported something (no citations or details of any kind). It’s probably not true, but fuck… While were on the subject of butt fucking, don’t you hate it you use the words but and fuck right after each other? I also hate when I just stop my train of thought for something stupid like butt fucking. You can’t easily u-turn back to teleportation after you talk about butt fucking. Watch how I fuse teleportation with sexuality: I bet if teleporters actually existed, people would stick their dicks through it like a glory hole. I hope for that person, the receiving end is an alligators mouth, or on a cactus. Something about people who use glory holes just bother me. It just sounds a bit cocky to me (no pun intended) to think some random woman will postpone her shit by some cartoonish freshly baked pie scent attraction to it. Also, women bring their babies into bathrooms to change them. What if, by some strange coincidence, the glory hole is right where that baby is? There’s a possibly you could actually penetrate the baby in the asshole. People get struck by lightning twice, don’t let the outrageous probability fool you- it’s probably happened. And considering population density, it probably happened in China. I heard they kill babies if you have more than one, so does that surprise you?

If I had a teleporter, I’d teleport to the 60’s. I bet for a second you thought “you can’t do that with a teleporter” like they actually fucking exist. This is my website, and I make the rules: my teleporter time travels. I’d go to the sixties to see if a dime bag really cost a dime. I used an inflation calculator, and a dime in 1960 is worth about .73 cents today. That’s incredibly cheap for a dime bag, and I doubt that fact is true. ¬†Actually, I’d teleport to 3:52 of this video and find out what the fuck is happening to MJ at that exact moment.