Monthly Archives: March 2011

Humus and Fish

I’m eating humus with pita and fish. Humus followed by fish, not fish infused with humus- that shit’s just gross. This meal makes me feel Mediterranean. It’s all traditional arabic ingredients. Too bad it was all made by machines. I’m at a crucial point in the eating of my meal right now- I don’t know if I want any more humus. If I continue and eat the fish, I won’t be able to turn back and eat more humus because it’ll taste gross and fishy. This is my life.

A whole slew of shit happened today. You won’t hear much about anything because all the networks are constantly airing shit about this earthquake in Japan. It’s sad and I don’t want to hear about this bullshit. Houses falling down and flooding is not cool to me. Something that is cool: the iPad 2 came out today. Sales are probably going to be a bit sluggish with Japan out of the mix. Even though they are  super devoted to electronics, I doubt they have electricity. Maybe if it had the retina display, it’d get them swimming to the apple store.

In other news, I got today and tomorrow off from work. I’m actually really happy about that; theres this big training event that I would have to push like a mother fucker if I were working. Now, I’ll be returning next weekend after the bullshit has passed and I can continue doing absolutely nothing at work. It would have been nice to get the extra hours in, but I’ll be bitching about that next week when the paycheck is pretty much 0 dollars. I pay weekly for my benefits; I wonder what happens when I don’t work at all and theres nothing for them to take the money from. Whatever, fuck them… They don’t even give me a straight answer as to where I can go to get shit done. Pure evil, those people.


Big Brother

Facebook just got a whole shit ton creepier.

First, they offered me an email address, which basically let’s non facebook users to send you messages. It’s more of a facebook message than an email, but you can add attachments. That’s really cool- if I’m taking to somebody and want to send them a picture I usually resort to email on the side. Now, I don’t have to. After chatting for a few minutes, I noticed a little box in the chat dialogue. It brought up my messages between that person- and it had all of our chat logged in it. It appears now whenever you chat with someone, your actually sending them an “email” and everything is logged. I looked through my messages and it has my last two days of chats logged. Next time Facebook, ask me. Or at least let me turn this fucking thing off. It would also be cooler if allowed me to pick my email address instead of using my

The new button takes you to your messages/chat logs with that person

I get what they are doing; they are trying to eliminate email. In a perfect world, that would be great. Someones email would actually be connected to another person, so you knew exactly who you were sending something to and they would know who you are. In other words, no more spam. If you did want to spam me, I’d know exactly who you are and could easily find your home and rip your wife in half. Also, some people just never check their email but yet they are on Facebook all day. It’d be a one stop shop but with shit that’s actually useful.

I don’t like how chats are thrown into the mix. There are certain people I talk to everyday; finding something they send me a month ago would take forever. Specially with Facebook’s dumb ass idea of scrolling. They really need to learn how to have page numbers rather than making you scroll to the top and wait and have the next paid load, over and over again. Chat logs are personal stuff, having them one click away makes it way too easy to spy on people when they leave themselves logged into someone else’s computer. I’m not against logged chats; I love that and used to Meebo solely for that reason. It should just be in a different location and be password protected. That’s how I would do it if I were in charge. I would also put the paperclip/attachment icon inside the chat window, and have instant messages with attachments sent to the messages folder. The way they have it is just a little too much integration for me. Usually, when Facebook adds new features they don’t let go of them. I guess we’d better get used to it.

“Fuck Facebook. In the face.”

What have you done for me lately?

Before this website was trying to sell me on their iphone app. I really hope it’s not for people who need to post on the fly. This isn’t fucking twitter, theres no need for that shit. I heard twitter was up for sale for like 10 billion bucks. I really hope they sell it and ruin it like they did myspace. If I had 10 billion to blow, I’d buy it and toss it in the trash. I don’t understand twitter. Not like, the social aspect, (I just find that retarded) but literally how to use it. Everyone says they love it because it’s simple, but theres fucking #’s and @’s and $’s and w/e the fuck. They’ve managed to find a way to alienate me in less than 140 characters. I’m sure I could learn, but why? If someone gives a shit about what I have to say, they will read this. If they don’t, why try to force feed them a sentence at a time?

I really do hate the word “blog”. It’s funny how this world works- the guy who thunk up the word “blog” most likely got nothing from it aside from a shitty blog no one reads. The guy who invented Shamwow’s punches hookers in the face in a Lambo. I’ll stick to calling this a website, granted it’s a pathetic one. I’ve been posting a lot to this website. I really don’t understand why, it’s not like I have the free time for it. I guess it’s a way for me to not do the things I need to do while still doing something. Also, since I’m primarily doing it for myself, it’s more like personal maintenance than anything else. What I’m doing with the blog is basically just farting out some of the bullshit that would otherwise stink up my brain all day long. When I come on here, I don’t really have the intention of writing anything in particular. I just go in whatever direction I want and hope I find it interesting enough to continue writing about it. If not, I’ll just move on. Example:

About four minutes ago I broke my nail uncomfortably short. It was on my left hand too, which really fucking sucks because now it’s going to make my guitar playing uncomfortably uncomfortable. If it was on my right hand, I could have just silk wrapped it up and instead of sucking it would be fucking kick ass. Of course, that’s not the case. That’s my life. I pirated Guitar Pro 6 the other day, so I guess that evens things out a bit.

Update: Shorty after this post, I downloaded the WordPress iOS app. Also, I don’t get why everyone is so close minded about this silk wrapping of my finger nails. The only thing feminine about fake nails is the fact that women do it it to look good, which is not my motivation. I do it for guitar; it makes playing so much easier and more fun. I don’t ever have to use a pick and it makes fingerpicking cool as fuck. I don’t need to explain myself.

Not bad considering I put this bitch on myself

And one more thing…

…I like about my Mac is the unlimited battery life.


I just can’t seem to fix this computer. I did some e-search and found an orgy of other people with the same problem and had to replace the computer because there is no fixing it. In the last 13 months, this is 4/4 HP’s that have crapped out on me. I’m convinced they are most unreliable company on earth. In other news I just got a job solely selling HP products in Best Buy. I love the job, but I feel bad for the poor saps who actually take my advice and buy the crap. The 2 back to back HP desktops that crapped out were 1,500 a piece. The two together lasted about three years; if that same 3k were spent on a mac pro, I bet my balls (both of them) that it would still be running like a fucking champ. I could find loads of people who despise Apple, but I’d have a hard time finding someone who could dispute that.

I like Apple. I’m actually really surprised by the number of people who flat out hate them, and even hate me for liking them. The people who do hate them usually know nothing about them; they can’t afford it and they envy the people who can. The people with “Apple fanboy” in their vocabulary are usually dorks (NOT nerds) who think they know it all because they upgraded the ram in their 7 year old e-machines. It’s a sad truth.

I have yet to hear someone say that a Ferrari sucks because it’s expensive. It’s illogical to think something is inferior because it costs more. I could actually argue that a mac isn’t any more expensive than any other computer. They retain their value more than any other computer, so when it’s time to upgrade you don’t have to toss it in the garbage. My first laptop was a macbook that I bought for $1100 dollars. After two years, I sold it for $800 and I upgraded to a $1000 Gateway. That gateway was sent in for repairs twice during the first year, and the repairs only lasted about 3 months.  Essentially, the macbook cost me 300$, and the Gateway cost me $1,000. I bet a majority of people who made the switch to Apple have a similar story.

Despite how all this sounds, this is not about Apple vs HP. It’s about quality. I’m not upset that my HP’s aren’t macs, I’m upset they aren’t working right now. The only other company that builds their computers with quality is Lenovo. My school is actually forcing a Lenovo into my hands, but I’m embracing it because it’s top notch quality. I’m actually excited to get my hands on it. Lenovo offers a three year warranty out of the box on most of their computers, some with on site repairs. The extra two years doesn’t even make a difference to Lenovo or Apple because less people have problem with their machines after three years than a Toshiba in one. Apple is just slick enough to get people to pay the extra 250 for it.

I wish this job had Apple or Lenovo behind it, I would sell the shit out of either of those companies. Not because they are easier to sell, but  because I trust what I’m selling and would actually take it home myself. The low prices and equally low quality helps HP sell two laptops every second of every day of every year. They need me to sell their products because they certainly don’t sell themselves, and if I don’t intervene and say “hey, don’t spend 400 dollars less on this subpar machine”  no one would buy the damn things.

I guess my point is if  you don’t like fillet mignon, that doesn’t mean you have to eat fast food. If your debating two computers, don’t let the price be the deciding factor because odds are you won’t be saving anything by going with the cheaper one.


It’s really stupid how people are waiting for March 1st to do shit. If your gonna do something, do it now. Don’t wait until a tuesday just to look neat. It’s not cooler to do shit on the 1st, except for I guess January. Then again, I don’t blame them for not wanting to do it in February. February sucks on pretty much every level a month could suck. All my shit cost the same even though I’m not getting like 3 days of service.  Then again, I don’t use half the shit I own anyway. If you divide the 365 days in a year by the number of days in February, it comes to about 13. It’s as much of a month as an imaginary 13th month.. It’s the midget of months, which bothers me consider I got kicked out of psychology class in high school because of “excessive racism” stemming from a remark I made about midgets. I tried asking how they could possibly consider the lack of height a race only to be called a smartass. I don’t know if it makes me smart to not relate the two, but it certainly does make you stupid if you don’t.

I heard these two black kids complaining about how black history month was during the shittiest month of the year. That really bothers me- It’s could have easily been “black history day”, not that there should be any allotted time devoted to it. Black history should be about equality; what sense is it make to separate history? History is history. Regardless of the topic, who wants to learn history for an entire month anyway? But I agree, it is during the shittiest month of the year. And it’s not racist to say “black kids”, if your thinking that, shut up your brain.

I found that I’ve been smoking a lot. No, not weed… crack. I’ve been smoking crack cocaine profusely. It has actually become a big problem. At first it was a cheap thrill, but it’s evolved since then. The other day, I was craving a hit but couldn’t get it because my mom didn’t have any money in her purse. I always thought I could stop at any time, but after that incident I realized that’s not the case. To make sure that would never happen again, I stole all her jewelry and pawned it. With that money, I bought a good amount and now I sell it and use the money I make to fund my addiction. Cigarettes you fool! Why is it whenever I say “smoking” people always think I’m talking about weed? Or crack? Maybe it’s the way I look. Well, fuck you for judging me. I’ve been smoking a lot of CIGARETTES recently, and I think it’s because I’m stressed out. I, like most smokers, smoke when I’m stressed out. I read somewhere that when you smoke, you hike up your blood pressure, increasing stress. Full circle. What a bunch of schemers these tobacco companies are. I wish I had thought of it, I’d be rich as fuck by now.

It’s actually very important that I become very rich, very soon. I can only go so long posting to my website at 7:00AM before I crap the fuck out. I just got a job and it’s only a matter of time before I get fired. This sleep disorder prevents me from being a hard working American (among other things). So, I’ve been thinking- who works the least in this country? Rich people! So, I have very little time before I have to become rich to sustain the high standard of life I’ve grown accustom to. I’ve been playing the lottery almost every day; no dice. I went to the store to buy the tickets with my girlfriend and she pointed out that the jackpot was a lowly 5 million dollars. So, my dumb ass says “better for me, the odds will be in my favor”. She called me out on my stupid and pointed out how the odds are the same of me winning, just better in the sense that I won’t have to share it if someone else wins too. I looked it up, the odds of wining the mega million jackpot is 1 in 175,711,536. Fuck that! If everyone in this country played, that would be two people. I’m not that lucky. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m extremely unlucky. Like when people tell me to pick a hand, I always pick the empty one. I’d be fucking nuts to waste my money on that bullshit again. Looks like I’m back to the drawing board. Maybe I can collect disability, or at least get a handicapped plate on my car.

What am I to do Windows?

Gotta love the choices